Hello, my name is Haeun Kim and I attended the new gen conference as a mokja to be. The first time I heard about this conference, I wasn’t very excited. To be honest, I had a great time last year at the conference, but that time I learned more about what being mokja is like instead of getting closer to God so I didn’t think it was necessary to go again to learn about the same thing. But one thing I was very excited about was that this year it will be mostly youth shepherds instead of children shepherds attending from other churches. I was excited about meeting new people and making friends, but I arrived in Orlando without having the willingness to learn more.
When I entered the Vision Church, a lot of people welcomed me. There were a lot of people last year too, but this year was so much bigger. There were 6 groups last year but this time there were 14, and looking at the decorations, table settings and most importantly the food made me realize how much effort so many people put into preparing for this conference for months. I felt ashamed for taking this conference so lightly and I was very thankful.
When it was finally the time to go sit with our own groups, I was excited but I was worried about not making friends since everyone already had time to get to know each other. However I never thought it would be awkward. But when I walked over to my table, there was nothing but silence. I tried to talk first by introducing myself but there was no reaction and it seemed like everyone was introverted and even the leaders seemed very shy. The first day ended with awkwardness and I was very stressed since I was expecting laughter, joy and happiness in our group and being awkward was the last thing I expected.
That night, I was thinking about what I can possibly do as a group mate to help the leaders lead and I figured out that maybe I should get comfortable with everyone in order for everyone to become comfortable with each other. The next day, I tried to talk to everyone without leaving anyone out, and I asked everyone very little questions about their churches and their flights. But the time where everyone started bonding was probably the activities and games where we had to be a team to win. Everyone became very competitive and began to joke around as time went on, and we were truly a team while we were playing. There was still a bit of awkwardness during the small groups, but none of us worried about talking anymore and everyone was comfortable and felt free with each other. At that moment, I felt accomplished and happy and I realized that maybe this is what being a mokja feels like and I decided that I want to be a mokja and go back to the conference next year as a group leader.
We had 3 sermons every night and what changed from last year was that now we are all gathered together in front of the service room instead of sitting at our own tables. The sermons were about Daniel and his 3 friends. I was very touched when I heard about how God was with the 3 friends in the fire. I connected fire to struggles in my life, and I realized that God will be with me in the fire no matter what. Also I learned that there is always a purpose for all the struggles and at the end of the day, God will work it all out for us because his purpose will always be bigger than ours.
My favorite favorite favorite part about this conference had to be the praising and praying all together. I knew that I would cry at least once during this conference but I didn’t think that I would cry everyday. It was my first time not only praying for myself but truly praying for others and I felt the presence of God in the room where I was. I didn’t know that I could get joy from praying for other people that aren't myself, but I learned how it is such a blessing to be able to pray for other people. I was also very touched by how everyone genuinely loved one another and we were all together in God.
It’s been a month since the conference and there have definitely been some changes ever since. First, I started to listen to hill songs daily. Second, I started praying every night before bed for a long period of time and last, I have become very close to God. I really hope to keep these habits and I really hope to go back to the conference again since it was an amazing experience. Lastly, I want to thank Jang moksanim and Choi moksanim for giving me an opportunity to go to this conference. Thank you!
안녕하세요, 저는 김하은이고 이번 New Gen 컨퍼런스에 예비 목자로 참석했습니다. 처음 이 컨퍼런스에 대해 들었을 때, 사실 별로 기대하지 않았습니다. 솔직히 말하자면, 작년에 이 컨퍼런스에서 많은 것을 배웠지만, 하나님과 더 가까워지기 보다는 목자로서의 역할에 대해 더 많이 배운 것 같았기 때문에 같은 것을 다시 배울 필요가 없다고 생각했습니다. 하지만 한 가지 매우 기대했던 것은 올해는 다른 교회에서 온 청소년 목자들이 주로 참석한다는 것이었습니다. 새로운 사람들을 만나고 친구를 사귀는 것이 기대되었지만, 배우고자 하는 의지는 없이 올랜도로 향했습니다.
Vision Church에 도착했을 때, 많은 사람들이 저를 환영해 주었습니다. 작년에도 사람들이 많았지만, 이번 해는 훨씬 더 큰 규모였습니다. 작년에는 6개의 그룹이 있었는데 이번에는 14개의 그룹이 있었고, 장식, 테이블 세팅, 그리고 무엇보다 음식 등을 보면서 이 컨퍼런스를 준비하는 데 수개월 동안 많은 사람들이 얼마나 노력했는지 깨달았습니다. 컨퍼런스를 너무 가볍게 생각한 것이 부끄러웠고, 너무 감사한 마음이 들었습니다.
드디어 각자 자신의 그룹에 앉을 시간이 되었을 때, 기대도 되었지만 이미 다른 사람들이 서로를 알아가는 시간을 가졌기 때문에 친구를 사귀지 못할까 봐 걱정이 되었습니다. 그러나 어색할 것 이라고는 전혀 생각하지 못했습니다. 그런데 제가 테이블로 걸어갔을 때, 그곳에는 침묵만이 있었습니다. 먼저 인사하면서 대화를 시도했지만 아무런 반응이 없었고, 모든 사람들이 내성적이고 리더들조차도 매우 수줍어하는 것처럼 보였습니다. 첫날은 어색하게 끝났고, 우리 그룹에 웃음과 기쁨, 행복이 있을 거라고 기대했던 저는 크게 스트레스를 받았습니다.
그날 밤, 리더를 도와 제가 그룹원으로서 할 수 있는 일이 무엇일지 고민해 보았고, 모두가 서로 편안해질 수 있도록 제가 먼저 모든 사람들과 편하게 지내야겠다고 결심했습니다. 다음 날, 저는 모든 사람들과 이야기하려고 노력했고, 교회와 비행에 대해 아주 간단한 질문을 하면서 대화를 시작했습니다. 그리고 모두가 정말로 친해진 것은 팀 활동과 게임을 할 때였습니다. 모두가 매우 경쟁적으로 변하면서 시간이 지나며 농담도 하고, 함께 게임을 하며 진정한 팀이 되었습니다.
소그룹 시간 동안 여전히 약간의 어색함은 남아 있었지만, 더 이상 말하는 것에 대한 걱정은 없었고 모두가 서로 편안하고 자유로운 분위기였습니다. 그 순간 저는 성취감을 느꼈고 행복했습니다. 그리고 이것이 목자로서의 느낌일지도 모른다고 생각했고, 내년에는 그룹 리더로서 다시 컨퍼런스에 돌아오고 싶다고 결심했습니다.
매일 저녁 3번의 설교가 있었고, 작년과 달라진 점은 이제 모두가 예배실 앞에 함께 모여 앉는다는 것이었습니다. 설교는 다니엘과 그의 세 친구에 관한 것이었는데, 세 친구가 불 속에서 하나님과 함께 있었던 이야기에 큰 감동을 받았습니다. 저는 불을 내 삶의 어려움과 연결지어 보았고, 하나님께서 어떤 상황에서도 나와 함께 하실 것이라는 것을 깨달았습니다. 또한 모든 어려움에는 항상 목적이 있으며, 결국 하나님께서 우리를 위해 모든 것을 해결해 주실 것이라는 것을 배웠습니다. 왜냐하면 하나님의 목적은 언제나 우리의 목적보다 더 크기 때문입니다.
